Falling Away With You
by freerangeegghead
Summary: In which Sara Lance goes back to the League with Nyssa al Ghul after defeating Slade Wilson in the siege of Starling. Occurs in the "Never" verse (Prequel to/companion piece to "Never Let You Go"). Occurs in and around Season 2x23 finale, "Unthinkable" & Season 3x1, "The Calm". Angst. Femslash. Flashbacks. One-shot. Complete. Mentions of canon, not entirely canon-compliant.


_**Falling Away with You**_

_**Summary: In which Sara Lance goes back to the League with Nyssa al Ghul. Occurs in the "Never" ("Never Let You Go") verse. Occurs after Season 2x23 finale, "Unthinkable" and before Season 3x1, "The Calm". Prequel. Angst. Femslash. Flashbacks. One shot. Complete.**_

_**Pairing: Nyssa al Ghul, Sara Lance**_

_**TV Series: Arrow (DC, WB, CW)**_

_**Rating: Rated M. For themes. No smut.**_

_**Warnings: Femslash. Flashbacks.**_

_**Spoilers: Yes. Mentions of canon from Seasons 1-3.**_

_**Why a prequel: Because these are the flashbacks we deserved in Arrow's Episode 3x04 when Nyssa finds out about Sara and didn't get.**_

_**Disclaimer: Nothing owned, nothing gained. All the prose though, is mine.**_

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><p>Sara Lance stands leaning on the rails of the ship "The Nordic Pearl", arms folded in front of her, watching the darkly shimmering sea sparkle in the moonlit sky. Stars glitter above, a wind is blowing, the deck empty, silent but for the sound of the steady hum of the ship's engines, the wind, the splash of the water as the ship cut a steady path across the ocean, on its way to Nanda Parbat. She stands there alone, reflecting on the darkness and silence, growing cold as the night deepens, but enjoying it nonetheless. She likes the cold. It makes her think. It calms her down.<p>

The events of Starling City have left her with a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of pride such as she's never felt before – stopping Slade Wilson and his army, being on the side of good for once, no one dying at her own hands. It had felt good. It had felt _right_. Paying the price of coming back to the League in exchange for Nyssa al Ghul and her men's assistance is almost worth it.

* * *

><p><em>If Nyssa al Ghul, daughter of Ra's al Ghul, heir to the demon, is surprised that Sara Lance appears at Nanda Parbat of her own volition, she does not betray it. If she were some other rogue member of the League who had dared come back after having left so unceremoniously, she would have been shot dead where she was, never making it within inches of Nyssa al Ghul's presence. It is one of those moments when she is glad of her status as Nyssa al Ghul's beloved. Even so, the assassins in the hall had all, as one, lifted their bows and arrows, all the arrows trained on Sara's heart, as she approaches Nyssa al Ghul. Nyssa stands unmoving by the window, looking out on the mountains in the distance. Sara had hesitated, for an instant, and had almost lost her courage, but the thought of her father, her mother, her sister, everyone else in Starling City, being in danger, had kept her from backing out. The safety of her family had been worth the risk, worth coming back to Nanda Parbat and risking Ra's al Ghul and his daughter's wrath for. Ra's al Ghul is nowhere to be found, however, and only Nyssa is in the massive, empty hall, standing silent and pensive by the large window. <em>

_Sara stands there, waiting to be acknowledged, even as Nyssa stands silent, looking out, refusing to turn and look at her. The other assassins stand stoic and silent, waiting for Nyssa's orders. They are all aware of what Sara had done, her act of insolence, of daring to leave the League, but they are all aware of Sara's unique and, Sara suspects, envied position as the heir's beloved, and no one wants to risk the wrath of the child of Ra's al Ghul to exact vengeance on an erring rogue League assassin. _

_Time stretches out – into what seems like forever. No one moves. No one breathes. No one speaks. Sara's heart is beating so fast in her chest she feels it might burst out of her chest. Her hands are clammy. Her hands are trembling. Her knees feel so weak she thinks she might just collapse. She does not know what Nyssa will do. Nyssa is a lot of things, but the one thing Nyssa is, is not merciful. Or lenient. The child of Ra's al Ghul would not take too kindly to having been spurned. The child of Ra's al Ghul would definitely not take too kindly to that former lover coming back only to ask for her help to save that former lover's family she so despises, to save a city she does not care for, to help a vigilante, to take orders from the said vigilante who had humiliated her in defeat, a vigilante who had cared for Sara. Sara would not put it past the League to have known what had already transpired between her and Oliver Queen. She hopes though that they do not know all of it, and that she is given the chance to explain. If they do not behead her first._

* * *

><p><em>Nyssa takes it better than she expects.<em>

_In fact, Nyssa had surprised her in that hall by turning to the other assassins, and with a lift of the hand, orders her men to lower their weapons and withdraw from the hall. This has always amazed Sara – how Nyssa exuded so much power, inspired so much fear, with just a flick of her wrist or a wave of a hand. It had not just been the fact that she is daughter of the most revered and feared master assassin of an equally revered and feared ancient sect of assassins, trained and reared to one day take over the League, although that is part of the reason everyone, Sara included, is in awe of her, but that Nyssa made sure everyone knew she is worthy of the title "heir to the demon". She killed with precision, took no prisoners, bowed to no one, lived life with no apologies or hesitation or fear. That Nyssa had been willing to do what it takes to get Sara back, including poisoning her sister Laurel, kidnapping her mother, and punching her father, is testament to this. _

_But this Nyssa now, standing and looking out of the window, with that far away look in her eyes that fooled people into thinking she is distracted, but is in fact always mindful of her surroundings, listening to Sara as she tells her about the island, Slade Wilson, Mirakuru, his plans of destroying Starling City – this Nyssa is cold, unfeeling, indifferent. Different from the Nyssa that had come to Starling to plead with Sara to come home with her back to Nanda Parbat – vulnerable, desperate and in the end, broken. When Sara comes to the end of her hurried, nervous speech, growing increasingly anxious when Nyssa shows no interest, Nyssa turns, looks her in the eye, and asks, coldly, "And what, pray tell, do you want me to do about this?"_

_Sara swallows, feels her heart beating so loudly she barely hears herself think, as she hurriedly tells Nyssa her plan. _

_It is then that Nyssa's expression shifts, eyes burning with controlled anger. "You dare ask me, child of Ra's al Ghul, and the League for help to save your city?"_

_Sara knows it is now or never, and so she stands her ground, looks Nyssa in the eye, and says, "Yes."_

_Nyssa is silent, studying Sara's face. How Sara wished that she could, just for once, read what is going on in Nyssa's mind, or her face, but she has never been able to do so. Nyssa has always been elusive, mysterious, and it always left Sara mystified._

"_You have some nerve, Ta-er al-Sahfer," Nyssa finally says, after a few moments, staring at Sara with anger in her eyes. _

_Sara holds her gaze for a few moments, before she gives up and looks to the ground and then on to the mountains and then back to Nyssa's face, staring at a point somewhere above Nyssa's eyes. She did not want to look Nyssa in the eyes. Hadn't wanted Nyssa to look into her eyes and see something there that she doesn't want Nyssa to see. Hadn't wanted Nyssa to look into her eyes and see Sara's resolve melting away. _

"_I...I know..." Sara manages to stammer. "But this is my family, Nyssa. I need to make sure they are safe. If you could just...help me with this one thing... I'll come back to the League and honor my oath."_

_Nyssa considers this. She is as cool and collected as she always is. Finally, she says, "I do not take orders from your Mr. Queen."_

"_I know," Sara quickly says. "But if you could do this...for me...I'll...do anything the League asks...I'll never ask for anything again..."_

_Nyssa cocks an eyebrow. "Will your boyfriend, Mr. Queen, not be jealous that you came to ask for the League's help in exchange for going back to the League? I had this impression your boyfriend is hypocritically disapproving of the League despite his own nocturnal activities."_

"_To fight the unthinkable, you have to do the unthinkable," Sara says then, reminding Nyssa that she had once told Sara this very same thing, to encourage her, during those long nights of guilt and remorse. There is a brief silence as Nyssa takes this in, before Sara speaks again._

_Sara had not thought about it then, it just comes out of her mouth unbidden, "And...he's not my boyfriend." The color rushes to her face as she stammers out the rest, "He...never was."_

_Nyssa raises an eyebrow, waits for a beat, before she speaks. "Forgive my ignorance, Sara, but I presume someone who shares your bed and is intimate with you in every sense of the word, would have been considered your boyfriend." _

_Sara's blush deepens, but she manages to say, "You presumed wrong." _

_As Nyssa waits for the rest of the explanation, Sara quickly adds, "I...broke it off with him." _

_Nyssa smiles a tight, skeptical smile. "And Mr. Queen has taken your...separation well? I would not want to get in the way of a jealous ex-boyfriend..."_

_Sara says, "Oliver doesn't know."_

_Nyssa raises an eyebrow, curious about what Sara has just said, but chooses not to make any comment. _

"_He would disapprove of it," Nyssa finally says. _

_Sara nods. "And then my family will die. I don't want that to happen."_

* * *

><p>Sara supposes she should be grateful Nyssa had been on her best behavior during the siege of Starling. She had managed to get through the siege without killing or hurting anyone - a first, if Sara were to be honest, except maybe for rendering her sister Laurel unconscious and for executing Isabel Rochev. The League takes no prisoners, she knows this and Nyssa had been raised on the League's tenets and accepted and followed them without question. That she had allowed herself to follow orders from Oliver Queen, that she had allowed herself to even agree to help in Sara's crusade to save Starling, is surprising to say the least. But Nyssa al Ghul had done well, calmly and efficiently defeating Slade Wilson's men, even as she dispenses some much-needed reproach to Oliver Queen about his reticence to do what is necessary and why this is the reason Starling burns, and even sharing a mutual nod of respect with Sara's father on the field of battle, and later, in the face of her disapproving father unable to let her go back to the League, had promised him that she would die before she lets anything happen to Sara, unintimidated by her father's dislike of her.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>You ask too much of the League, Sara," Nyssa says then. "You are asking too much of me as it is. We are not in the business of helping people or saving cities. I, for one, would rather see your city burn than save it."<em>

"_Nyssa, please," Sara pleads. "You can't mean that. You _don't_ mean that."_

"_Ah, but I do," Nyssa says with a small smile then. _

"_Nyssa, I beg you. Please. I know there's still some goodness left in you," Sara says then. "I know there's still some humanity inside there somewhere. I know because you loved me once...No one capable of loving another person as much as you have, could be so cold as to want to see a city and its people burn."_

_Nyssa's eyes flicker in irritation, reminded of her emotions for Sara. But she recovers. "You put too much faith in people, Sara. You expect them to do good all the time, when in truth, they would rather see you drown than save you."_

_When Sara doesn't say anything, Nyssa continues, "Need I remind you of the story of the frog and the scorpion?"_

* * *

><p><em>The frog and the scorpion.<em>

_She knows this story. Had known of it when she had been training in the League. It was one of those times when she was training with Al-Owal, The First. Al-Owal is one of Ra's al Ghul's most trusted, most well-respected men, and also one of the most feared and respected teachers. Sara could not count the number of times the man had lifted her and slammed her body against the mat, or had hit her clear across the room, or had bruised her face, split her lip, wounded her, broken her. Once, during one of those times when he had slammed her on the floor more painfully than most, he had calmly stood up, reached out his hand as if to help her get up, and she, blind with pain, blood trickling over one eye, tasting blood on her lip, had taken his hand, only to feel herself being lifted off the ground again and slammed against the wall. _

_As she finds herself sliding down the wall in exhaustion and pain, she barely registers Al-Owal rushing to her, a massive bull of a man with fists and feet at the ready and as she quickly moves out of the way and he slams his fist against the wall, he says, "Have I told you about the tale of the frog and the scorpion, Ta-er al-Sahfer?"_

_As he moves to hit her and she puts her arms up to block him, feeling the pain shoot up from her arm, she says, "No."_

_He grins a devilish grin then before he attempts to punch her, and she ducks, jumps back, and he says, "There was once a scorpion who needed to cross a lake but since he could not cross without drowning, he had remained on the bank wondering what to do."_

_Then he moves to kick her and his foot connects with a rib and Sara cries out in pain and staggers back. Al-Owal lets out a triumphant yell as he moves forward and tries to kick her again, but she puts both arms up to shield herself, jumps back and turns to kick him on the side. Al-Owal jerks back in pain as Sara moves to kick him again and punches him on the side, on the ribs. _

_Al-Owal staggers back, sweat on his face and body, huffing, energized by their fight. "Then he sees a frog swimming in the lake and calls to him and asks him if he could perhaps get a ride on his back."_

_Al-Owal attacks Sara then and Sara manages to block and duck his punches, tumbles back, jumps up, arms up and watching him warily. They circle each other on the mat. Al-Owal laughs. _

"_The frog refuses, saying, if you ride on my back, you will bite me and we will both drown," Al-Owal continues, wiping the sweat from his brow. "But the scorpion says, no, I will not. I promise I will not bite you. So the frog agrees. And the scorpion jumps on his back and they swim."_

_Then Al-Owal comes forward, grabs a sword and attacks Sara with it. Sara jumps back, ducks, jumps away, crouches, rolls back, manages to grab a bowstaff and blocks Al-Owal's sword attacks with it. She doesn't know how it happens though – how Al-Owal comes close enough and surprises her suddenly with a blinding punch to the throat with the hand not currently clutching the sword, then slams his fist on her stomach, sending her flying on the mat. Then Al-Owal steps forward, looks down at the fallen Sara and finishes his story. "Halfway through, the scorpion bites the frog on the back. As they drown in the middle of the lake, the frog manages to ask the scorpion, 'Why? Why did you bite me? Now we will both drown!' The scorpion had said, 'I'm sorry. It's in my nature.'"_

_Al-Owal smiles an evil smile then and offers his hand. Sara refuses and instead gets up with the aid of the bowstaff. _

_Al-Owal watches her then, and when she is standing in front of him, Al-Owal says, "Trust no one."_

_Sara nods then. _

_As Sara limps to the corner to catch her breath, Al-Owal says, "You think, just because you are the beloved, I will take it easy on you?"_

_Sara turns then and looks at Al-Owal._

"_Do not make the mistake of thinking that again," Al-Owal says then with a smile._

* * *

><p><em>Nyssa had been fond of comparing Sara to the frog. Naive. Innocent. Quick to trust. Quick to believe in people's goodness. <em>

"_That is what will get you killed, Sara," Nyssa says now, looking at Sara. "This ridiculous belief that people will betray their human nature and rise above their basest, most barbaric traits and become noble creatures. That is simply not the way of the world. In the real world, people kill for no reason or justification – not for some ridiculous ideology or God or cause or emotion, but because we are all simply savages. Deep down we are all barbarians aching to be freed by all these conventions we call civilization. The League understands this. And so the League thrives."_

"_I can't...I can't believe that, Nyssa," Sara says. _

"_Why not? It is the truth. It is truth you should know to believe," Nyssa says._

"_Because...because if I believe that, Nyssa, if I believe there is no goodness in the world, that it and the people in it, are beyond redemption, then there's no purpose in life, no reason for living," Sara reasons. "I _have_ to believe there is something to live for in the world. If I don't...then what's this life for?"_

* * *

><p>In the end, Nyssa had finally agreed to help and commit some of the League's men to Sara and Oliver Queen's crusade of saving the city in exchange for her coming back to the League.<p>

Sara had been so grateful she'd almost been happy with the consequences.

But at least Nyssa had honored their agreement. And now she needs to honor her side of it.

Which is why she has left the deck of the ship and is in Nyssa's room, waiting for her. Nyssa's room is simply furnished. It is a very Spartan existence that is in line with what Nyssa's life is about. There is nothing but a bed, a table, a chair, books - the books a concession that is a throwback to her life when she had been privately educated. Her father had put an emphasis on Nyssa's education – gathering the best teachers his wealth can buy, Oxford and Cambridge educated private tutors who taught Nyssa everything else that the League couldn't. She thinks Nyssa may have even spent time in Oxford, if only because Ra's al Ghul wanted not only the best for his daughter, but so that his daughter would forge the necessary connections, would have that education as a way into high society, to have that credibility, to be able to blend in much more easily. Nyssa rarely talks about herself but Sara had deduced some of it just from how long she and Nyssa had been together.

Nyssa stops and stares then when she sees Sara standing in the middle of her room.

There is silence at first, as Nyssa hesitates, surprised and speechless at finding Sara in her room. Nyssa had not spoken to her nor brought up anything of a personal nature since she had agreed to help Sara. In fact, except for always making sure Sara is safe, always a step behind her to put an arrow in anyone attempting to kill Sara, and her promise to Sara's father that she would die rather than have Sara come to harm, Nyssa had not spoken to her.

"What are you doing here?" Nyssa asks then.

Sara swallows, feeling nervous all of a sudden. "I just...wanted to make sure you were alright. And to thank you..."

Nyssa asks, "For what?"

Sara shrugs, feeling ridiculous all of a sudden. "For coming with me and helping us save Starling City. For helping me save my family. For that I am grateful. Even if I serve the League for a hundred lifetimes, I know I can never repay you for what you have done..."

Nyssa nods and draws a deep breath. "The price has been paid. You need not concern yourself with showing gratitude."

Sara says, "I...just wanted to thank you."

Nyssa takes a step forward, makes to take off her coat, and nonchalantly says, "And so you have. Now, if you'll excuse me. I am tired and frankly, a little sore."

Sara doesn't miss that tone that indicates she is being dismissed. But she asks, anyway, "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Nyssa says, "I am fine. Thank you. But you also do not need to profess concern for my well-being. I would just like to be left alone so I can get some rest. I've had a long and frankly exhausting day."

Sara nods. "Yes, of course. I'm sorry. Good night."

Nyssa smiles thinly. "Sleep well."

Sara nods back. "You, too."

* * *

><p>At first when Sara wakes up, she feels a little disoriented. She doesn't know where she is. But then she looks around, takes in the small, simple cabin, the small window, and she is reminded she is still inside the Nordic Pearl.<p>

What immediately registers after is the fact that the ship seems to have ceased moving and an eerie silence pervading the ship. She realizes then that of course the League would not take the most direct route back to Nanda Parbat.

Her guess is proven correct when she walks through the hallways and sees no one, goes to the mess hall and finds it empty, finds rooms empty. The ship is miles from the shore – the anchor has been let down, and in the distance, she can see a city glittering, surrounded by mountains, the distant sound of civilization carried by the sea breeze. She could not find Nyssa as well. A hit, she thinks. They've gone to a city to kill someone. She stops herself from shuddering. She wonders why she hadn't been informed of it. Then again, aside from Nyssa talking to her father about protecting her just before they left Starling, and having dismissed her so nonchalantly the night before, it would seem that Nyssa had been avoiding her, or at least making sure not to be in the same room as Sara. She knows she has hurt Nyssa and she probably deserves being ignored and dismissed by her, but it feels a bit anti-climactic after Nyssa had gone to all that trouble to try to bring Sara back that first time, leaving a trail of injured airport security personnel, traumatized civilians – her family, for one, and a team of vigilantes wary about her and the League. Though Nyssa had eventually redeemed herself by agreeing to help, Sara feels like something has changed.

* * *

><p><em>The commotion in the training room had drawn Sara's attention almost as much as it has drawn the rest of the assassins currently not on League business on the other side of the world. There were low murmurs of encouragement and interest, as if the audience seems to have a bet going on. She is surprised by the normally restrained League members displaying normal human behavior in an atmosphere like Nanda Parbat's where silence and stealth are valued and encouraged. Later she finds out that Ra's al Ghul has left. This explains why the League members are acting like they are. She is curious enough by the excitement to push her way to the front of the crowd, and when the crowd finally reluctantly parts to let her through, she finds herself staring at Nyssa and Al-Owal – the First, circling each other, both of them holding bowstaff, sizing each other up, waiting for the other to strike. Nyssa has that cold, calculating look in her eyes that Sara has come to know – the calm before the storm as a slight smirk forms on her lips. <em>

_Suddenly, without warning, Al-Owal lunges for Nyssa and is surprised when Nyssa, lightning fast, leaps to the side, sticks out her leg, kicks him on the back and hits him on the back with the staff, sending him sprawled on all fours on the mat. There is an encouraging cheer from the crowd. The man gasps. _

"_I thought it would be instructive for you to know what happens when you hurt someone who is everything that I hold dear in my heart," she hears Nyssa saying then, coldly, as she moves to kick the man again. _

_The man grunts, tries to get up on all fours, staggers and Nyssa moves to kick him again, this time the kick more powerful than the last. She moves to kick him again but the man manages to grab her foot and unbalance her. She falls, but she quickly gets up. The man crawls away, as much to get his bearings, as to try to assess the situation. Nyssa has already gotten up, has grabbed the staff in her hands, waiting as Al-Owal grabs his own staff, brandishes it in front of him and they circle each other again._

"_I was asked to train her, make a warrior of her at all costs. If she fails, then she is not fit to be a warrior in the first place," Al-Owal sputters angrily between gritted teeth. _

"_I'll be the judge of that," Nyssa replies, before Al-Owal attacks her with the bowstaff again. _

_Nyssa braces herself, plants both feet firmly on the floor, blocks and parries and turns, ducks, before she twirls the staff in her hands and effectively slams its against Al-Owal's stomach. Al-Owal grunts, clutches his stomach, staggers back, head bowed. Nyssa takes this opportunity to slam the staff against his head, and then takes one step forward and punches him on the face. Al-Owal makes a pained, strangled noise as he flies back and lands on the mat with a thud. He lies there, grunting, in pain, huffing and sweating. _

_Nyssa takes a step forward, looks down on him coldly, and in a calm voice says, "Ta-er al-Sahfer is under my protection. No harm can come to her. If you put her through your pointless, unnecessary exercises in ineptitude again, I shall personally make sure you suffer the consequences."_

_Al-Owal had glared at her then, but he says nothing, bows his head and apologizes. _

_Later, after that incident with Al-Owal, Sara had told Nyssa she shouldn't have done that - "You're antagonizing your father's associates needlessly" she'd pointed out, to which Nyssa had shrugged and said, "What are they going to do? I am the daughter of Ra's al Ghul, heir to the demon. No one would dare incur my father's wrath by killing his daughter's beloved." _

_Sara had not argued then. She finds that if she lets it go on too long, they end up arguing. She suspects though that though there is some grudging admiration and respect for her, and certainly her status as Nyssa's beloved gives her a measure of protection, judging by Nyssa's explicit declaration, she knows that she is still an outsider to the rest of the members of the League, suspects, in fact that even Nyssa's own father disapprove of her and their relationship. They had managed to keep their relationship a secret for a few weeks before Nyssa's father finds out, and though he does not openly declare his disapproval, he also does not speak to Sara, or even look at her or acknowledge her presence when he sees her with Nyssa. She suspects Nyssa's unique position – that of being practically royalty, just waiting to inherit the throne from her father, makes Sara the inconvenience that would keep Nyssa not only from providing her father heirs, but also serves as an annoying distraction for his daughter, keeping her from the important business of being in the League. But Nyssa loves her and her father seems to tolerate that at least, even though his every look communicates to her that she isn't really one of them, that she'll always be the outsider, despite the fact that she had proven her loyalty by following orders without question, spilling blood for the League._

* * *

><p><em>Later, much, much later, in one rare instance when Ra's al Ghul had rebuked her for a mission gone awry, he had calmly said, "It occurs to me that I have been quite lenient on you. It is a father's wish to give everything his daughter wants. All I want is for my daughter to be happy. You have been the cause of that. But you failing to do this mission brings me much...displeasure and brings great dishonor to the League. Be grateful you are my daughter's beloved. Next time you will not be as lucky." <em>

_Sara would continue training, but then, Nyssa starts helping in Sara's training. They work out together whenever they can, and she finds herself attentively listening to Nyssa as she calmly and efficiently instructs her. "Move your hips," Nyssa would say as they block and punch and duck each other, "That's where all the power comes from." _

_She teaches her how to efficiently kill people, how to break someone's neck without breaking a sweat, teaches her how to be mindful of her surroundings, to assess situations and see how what the best possible way is to escape alive, teaches her how to make a man's death last for days, teaches her how to move amongst the shadows. She lets Sara practice again and again, reminding her that "the strongest metal is forged in the hottest of fires". Sara is surprised that she can take this all in without even batting an eyelash. People would say Nyssa and the League were responsible for introducing her to the dark side, but Sara knew the darkness was already inside her long before she met Nyssa and that Nyssa had only helped her tap into it, unleash it, channel it, make it work for her as much as anything._

* * *

><p>Sara stares out at the city in the distance. She stands on the deck, holds on the rails, leans out, and despite herself, finds the city very beautiful.<p>

Looking out at the city like this, alone on the deck of a ship, in the deepest, darkest of nights, she's never felt so alone, so isolated. Back in Starling, she's had her family, Sin, Oliver, Felicity, Diggle and even Roy. But right now, standing in the darkness, she is reminded how, essentially, one is utterly, completely alone in the grand scheme of things. But then she is reminded that being with Nyssa had eased some of that loneliness. She and Nyssa had spent time apart, of course, in the course of their relationship, but when they see each other again, Nyssa would make sure to spend as much of it as she can with Sara.

And during missions, she always made sure Sara was safe, always made sure she was protected. Risking the anger of one of her father's most trusted lieutenants, Al-Owal, had been a statement of this, when she had once threatened the man after Sara had come to her with a bruised body. Nyssa is many things – cold, fearsome, merciless, vengeful – but Sara knows Nyssa is also capable of a whole lot more, capable of so much more.

* * *

><p><em>She'd almost certainly would have died had Nyssa not been with her, that first time she was supposed to take someone out.<em>

_She'd been unsure and afraid and completely terrified and at the back of her mind, the picture of a happily married father with his two blonde, blue-eyed children haunted her and made it difficult for her to reconcile the image with the same murderous man who needed to be put down. Everything had been going well, and she'd almost convinced herself she could actually live with the blood of a man and of being responsible for making two children orphans, had it not been for the fact that one of the children had been with the man on that fateful night in his yacht. She'd froze. She hadn't known what to do. She'd stood there with the bow and arrow in her hand, staring at the peacefully sleeping blonde head and thinking of her own family. She thinks of how her death has changed her family. She cannot even begin to imagine how devastated they must have been to find out that she had drowned in that boat. _

_This is someone's father, she had thought. This is someone's father, someone's husband, someone's brother...he may have been responsible for a number of atrocious, unspeakable acts, but who was she to be judge and jury? What right did she have to take away this man from his children? Who was she to play god and execute a man? What was the League doing playing at being god as well?_

_The man had woken up them. Everything had happened as if in a dream, surreal, almost like it is happening to someone else. A flurry of activities. Gunshots. Arrows. Screams. Her shoulder being grazed. Nyssa being shot. She hadn't known where she found the strength to drive that arrow into the man's heart but she did, hadn't known how she managed to drag Nyssa out of the boat, into the water and into safety, but she did. She'd been so afraid of thinking she'd almost gotten Nyssa, daughter of Ra's al Ghul, heir to the demon, killed, that all she could think of was saving the woman. In the safety of their hotel room after, when Nyssa's wound is stitched and patched, Sara can think of nothing else to do but break down and cry in relief. _

_She hadn't known she would kiss Nyssa that night after her first hit until her lips are on Nyssa's. Members of the League are taught to work through the pain and put it in its place, but she knows Nyssa is at least in some measure of pain as she tries to comfort Sara amidst her ineffectual attempt at assassinating. Nyssa had surprised her, truth be told. Nyssa had always come off as aloof, unfeeling, cold, indifferent, killing with such cold, calm efficiency, she'd been surprised Nyssa had been capable of something more. She'd sat and held Sara and whispered comforting words. _

_She'd found her lips on Nyssa's lips before she even registers what she is doing. _

_She is sure Nyssa could hear her heart beat so fast against her ribcage. She's sure Nyssa would grab a knife and stab her on the chest. She's sure by this time tomorrow she would be yet another body thrown in some ditch somewhere, a body who had dared offend the League – or in this case, the daughter and heir of the League. But Nyssa doesn't push her away. More surprisingly, Nyssa doesn't stop. She responds. She grabs Sara and pulls her towards herself and continues to kiss her, holding her tightly but gently, as if she would never let go. That is how Nyssa always holds her – like she will never let her go. Like she is everything to her. They do not speak til after they are both naked and sated on the bed, Nyssa bringing so much fire and so much desire in their lovemaking that it surprises Sara – Nyssa communicates such a hunger for her, such desire and yet such gentleness and kindness that Sara feels overwhelmed at first. This is not the same Nyssa she had always known – the Nyssa she had first seen and met, who rarely spoke to her, much less smiled at her. When they are done, Sara realizes the frenzied, passionate lovemaking has made the blood from Nyssa's wound seep through the bandage. After Sara had changed the bandage, they had both settled down on the bed again and Nyssa holds Sara the whole night, talking until they fall asleep. Nyssa runs her fingers on Sara's skin, as if memorizing the contours of her body, runs her fingers on Sara's scars – sword wound scars, arrow wound scars, gunshot wound scars. She runs her lips on Sara's skin. Sara cannot help exploring Nyssa's body, too, cannot get over how smooth her skin is, how exquisite, how fascinating that this body trained to kill, can turn so soft and gentle in Sara's hands. _

_Nyssa asks her about that night, when they both escaped the attack on Nanda Parbat, what she had been thinking, and Sara had told her she found her beautiful. Nyssa had smiled, pleased with the compliment. Sara had asked her why she had saved her. Nyssa had stopped then, leaned on one elbow to take a good look at Sara, and smiled. After a silence, Nyssa says, __"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken." Nyssa grins. "Fyodor Dostoevsky."_

* * *

><p>After standing for such a long time outside, on the deck, Sara decides to go back down into her room and rest. Though the ship resumes its course for Nanda Parbat, and the motion itself comforts Sara, if only because motion reminds her that at least there is a destination that they will eventually reach, Sara feels restless, unable to contain herself. The excitement of the siege, the euphoria following Slade's defeat, the clarity with which she realizes that for the first time she feels like she's deciding her own fate, has dissipated. She feels like she's standing on the edge of a precipice, close to falling but afraid to fall, still clinging to the past, but quite ready to embrace the present and looking forward to the future. But when she realizes both her present and her future will now consist of even more killing – the killing that she couldn't take anymore in the first place and had forced her to break her oath and flee Nanda Parbat – she grows disheartened. She wants to talk to Nyssa. She knows they are not exactly even friends anymore, but the only reason she had stayed and lasted as long as she did in the League the first time, was because of Nyssa. Her love for Nyssa. Nyssa's love for her. A love born out of complete love and respect for each other. And Nyssa refusing to give up on her, Nyssa doing whatever it takes for her to stay, Nyssa always being there for her. Nyssa had been the only reason she'd thought twice, thrice, many times, before leaving. Had she not heard of the earthquake in Starling, she wouldn't have risked leaving the League and incurring Ra's al Ghul's wrath. When Nyssa had come to Starling to try to force her to come back to her and the League, it had taken every ounce of effort for her to make Nyssa believe she did not love her anymore. In the end, she had done such a good job of convincing Nyssa, of making her believe she would rather take that poison and die than go back to the League, that Nyssa had finally released her. Subterfuge had been a lesson she had tried to perfect under Nyssa. In the end, she manages to surpass Nyssa.<p>

It's not just the killing though. It's her apprehensions about going back to the League. She knows she will deal with a whole group of assassins who have tried to bring her back and failed, who had risked Ra's al Ghul's displeasure by coming back empty-handed, who, like Al-Owal, had died in her hands. She knows she will deal with Ra's al Ghul himself and his lingering dislike of her – and one of the reasons she had left the League, as much to spare Nyssa the heartbreak when her father eventually forces Nyssa to choose between the League and Sara, as to give them both a chance at different lives.

To her consternation, she does not see nor hear from Nyssa during those long days and nights at sea. She is surprised to realize she really wants to see Nyssa – if only to see her face, see her smile, provide her with the comfort she so desperately needs.

* * *

><p><em>Sara had learned not to ask questions. Or even try to find out who the person she is trying to assassinate is or what the person is outside of the things he or she did that earned him the honor of dying by an assassin's hand. She realizes it is better that way, and better for her sanity. <em>

_The target they are following is a well-dressed, tall, handsome, very important member of Parliament in his late thirties with a predilection for wine, women, arts and music. The night she and Nyssa are supposed to kill him, they had followed him to the Opera House. Before that he had been to the opening of an orphanage, a speech at a charity fundraiser, and an art gallery. He is a patron of the arts and very popular with the ladies. When his limousine pulls up in front of the opera house, Nyssa is about ready to shoot a transquilizer dart his way, drag his body to an alley and kill him. "All art is pretension," Nyssa had declared to her then, before declaring her distate for the art of moneymaking and all wealth that is wealth for its own sake. "Wealth has lost its narrative quality," she comments, watching wealthy, overdressed patrons troop to the opera house. Sara remembers thinking Nyssa would probably actively dislike Oliver Queen and his wealth, although Sara remembers wondering how Nyssa could reconcile her dislike for wealth with the fact that she and her father live in wealth, too. _

_There are instances like this one when Nyssa reveals a bit more of herself than is necessary and it fascinates Sara. Once, they find themselves passing by a playground, children playing at swings and see-saws and sandboxes, their parents seated on benches, watching them as they gossiped to each other. Sara had stopped, briefly, remembering her own parents, her overprotective father and her doting mother, remembering herself at that age, remembering herself and her sister playing games, going to the park, having picnics. She stares at the children, enjoying looking at all these children who are yet to be corrupted by a cynical world, and Nyssa had stopped as well, looked at them, and informed her about how at that same age when other children are playing, her father had told her how to cut a man in such a way as to make his suffering last for days so as to get the information needed, and how she'd been made to endure the heat of burning coal to help build her tolerance against pain, how she'd been made to punch the trunk of a tree over and over again until her hands bled and she felt nothing in her knuckles for days. _

_She knows she is supposed to forget her past life, but she can't help it. It had been easier to make a promise to herself and the League that she would turn her back to her past life, forget who she was, and be Ta-er al-Sahfer, a member of the League of Assassins, when she had only been at Nanda Parbat, isolated, her life consisting only of trainings on how to fight, how to survive, how to evade authorities, how to escape, how to be the efficient killers they are, but as soon as she took that oath and swore allegiance to the League and had been given her assignment, she finds it is harder to keep her promise. Each city she enters, each building she sees, each street, each house, reminds her of Starling, each tall, thin auburn-haired person walking down the street her sister, each cop her father, each blonde woman her mother. She and Nyssa pass by a group of college students and she remembers that she, too, once went to college, before all went to hell and she found herself adrift on a piece of driftwood in the middle of the ocean, waiting to die or be rescued._

* * *

><p><em>Once, during one of those shared moments with Nyssa in one of their League safehouses, Nyssa had suddenly asked her, "Do you miss them?" When Sara had looked up, a question in her eyes, Nyssa continued, "Your parents, your sister. That whole life you had back in Starling."<em>

_They had both fallen silent. Nyssa doesn't press her. Finally Sara speaks up. "Yes. Very much. All the time. I miss them so much sometimes I feel like it's going to kill me..."_

_And then she cries and Nyssa doesn't speak. She only holds her until the sobbing subsides, until the tears stop falling, until all that is left is shuddering breath and puffy eyes and Sara apologizing for crying and Nyssa smiling, silencing her apology with a kiss and a short, "We should rest. We still have a long journey ahead of us."_

_The next day, on their way to Nanda Parbat, Nyssa surprises her with a black leather jacket. Sara had stared at the box with the jacket in it. Nyssa hardly bothered with the pleasantries or anything remotely close to normalcy. Her life is defined by one thing and one thing alone: the hunt and the kill. Nothing else, not even the forming of relationships, mattered. Until she'd met Sara, Sara had thought she'd been comfortable just being alone, walking the darkness, but Sara realizes that maybe Nyssa is lonely, too._

* * *

><p>She finally corners Nyssa one day on her way back to her room. She knows Nyssa has been in a meeting, the expression on her face hardly betrays anything but the slight knit of her eyebrows tells her Nyssa is irritated.<p>

Nyssa doesn't even notice her until she is right in front of her, and then she has to stop, because Sara is refusing to move to the side to let Nyssa pass.

"Sorry," Nyssa mutters as she makes to pass, before she looks up and recognizes Sara. "Sara. I trust you are...enjoying the wonderful amenities of the Nordic Pearl?" she asks, with a twitch of a smile on her face.

Nyssa is about to say something else, when Sara speaks up. "Are you avoiding me?"

Nyssa raises an eyebrow, purses her lips before she says, "Sara, I am my father's daughter. You know I have better things to do than engage in such petty childish behavior."

Sara says, "So you _are_ avoiding me."

Nyssa sighs. "What I am, Sara, is busy."

Sara looks at her then. "Nyssa..."

Nyssa nods then, takes a step back and says, "Have a good day, Sara."

Sara quickly speaks before Nyssa has a chance to walk away. "Nyssa...I know things between us ended badly. And I know I should have handled it better...but...could we at least be...I don't know...friends...?"

Nyssa stops then, her back turned to Sara. She does not speak for what seems like minutes. Then she turns and says, "The daughter of Ra's al Ghul does _not_ have friends. And even if she did, she certainly does not stay friends with former lovers."

Sara takes a step forward then and says, in all earnestness, "Well, can we at least be...civil to each other then? I know I've treated you badly, and I feel terrible about it, but could you at least pretend like I don't have some communicable disease or something? Like I don't exist?"

Nyssa folds her arms in front of her then and says, "Sara, I do not exist to make you feel better about decisions that you made of your own free will. You made your choices. Whether they were the right ones or not remain to be seen. But you have to live with them."

She quickly responds, "I know that. I know I've made mistakes. I don't know whether they were the right or wrong ones. I just knew they seemed like the best option at the time. It was either that, or drive myself insane. I had to do it to keep myself from going crazy."

Nyssa is about to speak then when a League member comes up to them and interrupts their conversation. Nyssa and the member move a little away from Sara, put their heads together and Nyssa listens to the man. When he finishes, Nyssa gives him an order and dismisses him with a wave of the hand. The man nods and promptly leaves.

Nyssa hardly even looks at the man as she turns her attention back to Sara. "I'm sorry, but I guess we have to resume this conversation some other time."

Before Sara can even reply, Nyssa has already turned and left.

* * *

><p><em>Sara doesn't think either one of them had actually planned on falling in love. <em>

_Both of them knew that was a liability in a life always lived on the edge, not knowing whether today was the day one dies or if one gets to live another day. _

_She thinks maybe Nyssa had started it – with her words and her wit and wisdom and her intelligence and her confidence and swagger. She thinks it's Nyssa's protectiveness, it's her willingness to risk her life, her ability to put Sara above all else, her ability to give all of herself, body and soul to Sara, wrath of Ra's al Ghul and the League be damned. But she thinks it's those little moments, too, when Nyssa is just kissing her, or holding her the whole night when she is upset or when she has had a bad dream, or the way she listens to her, eyes never leaving Sara, as if Sara is telling her the secrets of the universe itself, it's Nyssa giving her a ridiculous leather jacket as a gift for no apparent reason, than that she seemed to need one – a jacket that had become Sara's favorite, a symbol as it were, of what Nyssa had come to mean to her, how she had come to mean more to Sara. And so when she had heard Nyssa had been in danger, there was no question that she would rescue her. She knows Ra's al Ghul will have eventually sent his men to rescue her, but Sara couldn't wait, had gone off on her own to save Nyssa. And though Nyssa had been both angry and worried and annoyed that Sara would risk her life for Nyssa, it had been worth it to see the look on Nyssa's face when she said she loved her. It would take Nyssa a while longer to say it back, but when she does, she says it with such earnestness, Sara has no doubt Nyssa al Ghul loved her._

* * *

><p><em>It had been a promise Nyssa had made – beneath the moonlit sky, walking the cobble-stoned streets of Prague, on their way back to the safehouse, one cold wintry night. They had walked silent, empty streets, just enjoying a night stroll. She had made the vow to Sara then when they get to the front door of their safehouse. Nyssa had been looking at her, smiling and she'd stoped, took hold of one of Sara's hands and saying, gently, "I know this is ridiculous and I don't know if my father will approve of this. I don't care honestly. But I want you to know, you are everything I hold dear in this life. Frankly, I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you. I promise you I will love you with every fiber of my being, with every inch of my soul and I will love you and fight for you to my last dying breath..."<em>

_Something in Sara had died the day the boat sank. She had done and experienced things that had made her believe she was beyond redemption, beyond, even, forgiveness and that she could never go back to her old life, could never imagine a life of happiness and contentment. But then Nyssa makes that promise and Sara thinks maybe she could hope again. Maybe she can dream again. _

_Maybe they were foolish and naïve to hope two people like them could ever hope to have a normal life, but that night, Sara begins to think maybe they can._

* * *

><p>Nyssa had been in the training room, sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, meditating, a sword sitting by her side. Sara had thought she had been as quiet as possible, entering the room, but Nyssa had quickly opened her eyes, grabbed the sword and before Sara knew it, the blade of the sword is on Sara's throat.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Nyssa asks, before she takes the blade down.

"I...just wanted to talk."

Nyssa turns her back on Sara, puts the sword down, sits down again and says, "I am busy."

Sara sits silent there, not knowing what to say, before she sighs and says, "Fine. You leave me no choice."

Nyssa turns. "What?"

Sara takes her sweatshirt off, starts to stretch, roll her neck and shoulders, cracks her knuckles. "A fight. If you beat me, I'll leave you alone. But if I win, you should at least try to make an effort to talk to me."

Nyssa raises an eyebrow. "Are you challenging me to a fight?"

Sara just looks at her.

Nyssa slowly stands up, facing Sara. "You dare challenge me?"

Sara tries not to roll her eyes.

"You know I'm going to win, yes?" Nyssa says as she and Sara slowly circle each other.

Sara shrugs. "Whatever. If you lose, you get to go to dinner with me_."_

"And if you lose?" Nyssa asks.

"Then I'll leave you alone and you never have to see me again."

Nyssa cocks an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're doing, but I don't like playing games, Sara. It is frankly a waste of my time and yours."

"I'm not playing games."

Nyssa stands there, just studying Sara. "You can't do this."

"Do what?"

"Play with people's feelings. It is _not_ fair. You can't just come in here demanding a fight and expect to win my favor with a simple victory and dinner."

"Nyssa..."

"You cannot just leave and declare that you do not love me anymore and then come back to my life and ask me to welcome you with open arms."

"I'm not asking you for anything."

Nyssa folds her arms in front of her. "Then what, exactly are you asking me?"

Sara doesn't know what to say. Sara only knows she wants to at least have Nyssa be speaking to her. She swallows, as much because she is rendered speechless by Nyssa as it is nervousness.

"And what of your boyfriend?"

Sara quickly replies, a little hurriedly for her taste. "It's not like that. He wasn't...my boyfriend exactly. Yes, we were...intimate, but we're not together anymore. And he's not...he's not for me. I've known Oliver a long time, yes, but things have changed. And we both knew it wasn't...serious. We were never going to be any more than we already were. What he needs, I can't give. And what I need, he cannot either."

Nyssa tilts her head, considering this. Her face though is still expressionless. "So you don't consider that a relationship - even when you share a bed and give your whole being to this other person?"

Sara does not speak.

Sara knows what Nyssa is thinking even before she articulates it.

* * *

><p><em>It had been Guyana, that foreign diplomat she had been ordered to kill, and the Undertaking, that finally did. It had broken her heart to leave Nyssa, but it had been as much because of Nyssa as it was because of her own sanity, that she had finally left Nanda Parbat, under cover of darkness, intending never to return ever again.<em>

* * *

><p>Before Sara could answer Nyssa's question, Nyssa lunged for Sara without warning, grabbed her, and in a matter of seconds has slammed Sara against the floor.<p>

Sara gasps, feeling the wind knocked out of her. She quickly jumps back on her feet, watches Nyssa warily as they circle each other on the mat.

"And us? What we had? Was that all nothing then?" Nyssa says then, approaching Sara in a flurry of fists and kicks. "Was I just a warm body you wanted to share a cold night with?" she says as she slams her fist on Sara's side.

Sara shakes her head, gasps, staggers back, as she quickly answers, "Nyssa, no. You know better than that. What we had was different."

Nyssa is all fury and motion as she attacks Sara again, each punch, each kick blocked expertly by Sara. Nyssa, eyebrows knitted, concentrating on blocking and ducking and throwing punches at Nyssa. Nyssa is the strongest, best fighter Sara has ever seen, and she fights like a raging beast, and so Sara is surprised when Nyssa drops her defense, gives her an opening, and Sara grabs her, they tumble to the floor and she has Nyssa in a chokehold.

As Nyssa grabs at Sara's throat, gasping for air and kicking and trying to get away from Sara, Sara says, "You were never just a girlfriend or a lover to me, Nyssa. You were more than that to me. You _know_ that."

Nyssa makes a sound midway between irritated and furious, hits Sara on the stomach with her elbow, grabs her from behind and manages to throw her bodily over her and slam her on the mat. Sara hits the mat with a wham, sees stars, feels the pain explode from her back, then her whole body, and as she lies there, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe, Nyssa jumps up, walks over to her, peers at her and calmly asks, "Then why was it not enough for you?"

The question leaves Sara speechless. She really doesn't know how to answer that. She stares at Nyssa then, willing herself to come up with something, but she ends up saying, ever so softly, "Nyssa..."

Nyssa's eyes soften then, her voice gentle and broken, the only time during their whole conversation, when she betrays some emotion, "Why was _I_ not enough for you?"

* * *

><p><em>Sara hadn't known how she had found herself on the shore.<em>

_She hadn't known where she was, how she got there, how she even survived all the events of the island. She hadn't known how she survived drifting on the ocean for days on end, exposed to sun and rain, with no food or water, sunburnt and parched, on the brink of death, without hope, but there had been a storm, and huge waves and she had been tossed around like a rag doll, had thought she would surely die, before losing consciousness. _

_But then she wakes up on a bed, in a small, simply furnished room, with one window on the side. There is no water, no sun, no rain on her, only a solid bed beneath her, and pillows and a blanket. She thinks she is either hallucinating or she has died. She still has a headache though and the room seems to be spinning and she thinks she is seeing shadows on the wall and when the door jumps and two people in hooded coats come in with a tray of a steaming cup of tea and what seems to be porridge. Later she finds out she had been spotted at sea by Nyssa whilst onboard the Nordic Pearl, and that Nyssa and members of the League had rescued her, that she had actually been delirious all that time, and that Nyssa had actually nursed her back to health. Nyssa would later ask the League to take her in and train her as an assassin. Nyssa would not say all these things to her, would not even speak to her until Sara became a full-fledged member of the League. Even after they start an intimate relationship Sara sensed Nyssa carefully chose what to tell her. Sara suspects part of the reason for this is at least for Sara's own good. She knows that were it not for Nyssa, she would have surely died, and that if Nyssa had not been around, protecting her, shielding her from the worst, she would have met an even worse fate than death at the hands of people who knew nothing but darkness._

* * *

><p>Nyssa had saved her. Nyssa had saved her time and time again. Sara owed her her life. But she didn't stay with her because she saved her, or because she owed her life. Sara had stayed with her because she loved her. Maybe she always had. Maybe she always will. But to be asked why Nyssa was, is still not enough for her is too much for Sara.<p>

She already knows she cannot answer this.

So she stands there, out of breath, looking at Nyssa, at the pain in her eyes, and she doesn't know what to say.

"Nyssa..."

Nyssa draws a deep, shuddering, angry breath. "I hate you."

Sara feels it like a slap. She knows Nyssa means it. But she also knows Nyssa is saying it because she is hurting, and seeing Sara here, right now, after having declared that she didn't love Nyssa anymore, is every bit as painful as Sara knows it is. Sara knows she's doing it to hurt Sara. Sara knows this because it feels like a stab in her gut.

Sara takes a step forward. "Nyssa..."

Nyssa is still taking deep breaths, putting her arms and fists up, a defensive pose, poised to strike, as she watches Sara, watches her every move.

"Please..." Sara says softly as she takes another step forward.

"Sara..." Nyssa says then.

"Nyssa..." Sara says her name again, as she takes one more step forward.

Nyssa is shaking her head, tears forming in her eyes. She tries to blink them away, takes a step back. "No."

"I just..."

"No..."

"Nyssa, I'm sorry..."

Nyssa is still resolutely, angrily shaking her head, "No, Sara...No...I..."

Sara doesn't even let her finish. She grabs Nyssa and holds her. "I'm sorry. I really, really am. I know nothing I will ever say or do will ever make you forgive me...I'm not asking you to...but if we could just...stop pretending like nothing happened...like we were never more than just friends to each other...You were everything to me, Nyssa. _Everything._ I loved you. Love you. Maybe I always have. Maybe I always will. But there are some things I need to work out for myself right now, and you _not_ talking to me, when you mean more to me than you will ever realize, just kills me. I don't know what will happen to us in the future, maybe a part of me hopes we will eventually work this out, but...in the meantime, could you just...stop whatever it is you're doing and talk to me?"

Sara ends her monologue and pulls back, holding Nyssa firmly on the arms. She can see many different emotions going through Nyssa's eyes. Anger. Confusion. Indecision. Love. Of all the things she can see there, there is the love, shining through, as clear as day.

Nyssa stands silently in front of her, before she sighs and says, in a tight voice, "I can't promise you that."

Sara smiles. "Okay. Will you at least have dinner with me?"

Nyssa cannot resist the snort that comes out. "Do you mean to insinuate that you beat me?"

"I'm not insinuating," Sara says. "I _did_ beat you."

Nyssa says, "You may have beat me, but you still need more hip action."

Sara sighs. "Always the teacher."

"Thought it would be instructive," Nyssa says.

Sara drops her hands, pushes them deep in the pockets of her pants. They stand there, both of them, Nyssa and Sara, just looking at each other. Sara wants to say so much more, but she is at a loss for words, finds she cannot articulate what she wants Nyssa to understand. Nyssa just looks at her, searches her eyes, wanting to comprehend, needing to undestand what Sara is not saying to her. In the end, Nyssa only nods and smiles. "Fine, dinner it is."

Sara nods back. "Okay."

"Shall we?"

"Okay," Sara says.

As they make their way out of the practice room, Nyssa says, "By the way, you may actually have to go back to Starling soon."

Sara turns to her. "What? Are you serious?"

Nyssa nods. "Yes. We need you to go back to confirm something to us."

"What's that?"

"Rumors." When Sara prods her some more, Nyssa continues, "Of Malcolm Merlyn still being alive. We've heard the rumors that he survived The Undertaking but we could never confirm it."

"If you're asking me to kill Malcolm Merlyn for you..."

Nyssa shakes her head. "No. Strictly surveillance..."

"Alright," Sara says. She clears her throat. "So...about dinner..."

Nyssa nods and leads the way.

Sara stops in the middle of the hallway, watches Nyssa from behind. Nyssa stop, turns, looks at Sara. "What?"

Sara takes a step forward, peers into Nyssa's eyes, hesitates, before she asks, "Are you alright?" She pauses, before she says, "Are we...okay?"

Nyssa looks at her then, silent, studying Sara's face. She puts her hand on Sara's face and smiles. "I don't know. To be honest, I do not know what the future holds for us. Maybe we should take it one step a time, yes?"

Sara looks at her then and smiles back. "Yeah. Okay. I can live with that."

Nyssa nods and they both walk down the hallway towards a path both known and unknown.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: That's it for this story. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Wrote it because while loved the Season 3x04 appearance of a vengeful, grieving, furious Nyssa al Ghul, that episode sorely lacked the much needed flashbacks and Sara. Hope this rectifies that. _**

**_Once again, thanks to pictureofsuccess and zarathustra76 for the help on this one. Cheers!_**


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